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Random reflections from a soon-to-be Ohio State graduate

Joe Podelco / Photo editor

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My college days are winding down, and I am left with some random thoughts:

• My plan for success is to publish one textbook that is accepted by a college professor. Then, every year, I will update the edition by changing no more than six words. Each year, students will be forced to purchase the new edition and in doing so will be funding my retirement by the age of 30.

• I think Ohio State students can control the weather. When they lay out on the Oval, the sun shines. When they don’t, it rains.

• It seems to me that students lose their sense of geography upon coming to OSU. It’s common to hear someone say that his or her parents are “coming up” to campus, even though those parents live in northern Ohio.

• I decided to attend OSU because of its stellar football and basketball programs. My guess now is that some incoming students will choose OSU for the men’s volleyball program.

• OSU football lost one home game each of my first three years. So it figures that the year the team goes unbeaten at home, all wins might be stripped away.

• I would love for the Horseshoe to return to natural grass, but I am not holding my breath.

• For four years I have tried to figure out which team was more represented on campus: the Cleveland Browns or the Cincinnati Bengals. I’ve concluded that it depends on who has the better record.

• I really hope Jon Diebler, Aaron Craft and Jared Sullinger can make money playing basketball because I’m not sure their singing abilities will get them very far.

• If a college visit tour ever moseyed through the Oval on a warm, sunny day, every prospective student would want to attend OSU and no parent would want them to.

• I don’t think Woodfest ’11 is something in which a person should root for one side — the police or the students. Some people got what they deserved and some didn’t.

• As I was passing by Woodfest on the sidewalk, my first thought was, “Which world terror leader did the United States kill this week?”

• I am proud to report that I jumped into Mirror Lake four times and into the Olentangy River never.

• Earlier this quarter there was a bar crawl to raise money for cancer research. Anything that generates money to fight diseases is a good thing. But I’ve noticed there has never been a bar crawl to fight alcoholism.

• I am tempted to film a documentary like Morgan Spurlock’s “Super Size Me.” Though, instead of eating McDonald’s everyday for a month, I would eat J. Gumbo’s. Only once a day, though; everything in moderation.

• Students elected a new Undergraduate Student Government president and vice president. No word yet on whether they will release their birth certificates.

• Someone once asked me: “If the University of Michigan would have offered you a full ride, would you have gone?” I answered that I probably would have, but that is exactly why I didn’t try to over-excel in high school.

• To someone who lives east of High Street, the Central Classroom Building is deceptive.

• Not having a car on campus has taught me that anything can be walking distance if you want it to be.

• If I opened a restaurant near campus, my hours would be 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. Thursday through Saturday. I bet I could make good money.

• As a health conscious college student, I try to balance the five major food groups: burgers, fries, pizza, nachos and beer.

• I didn’t give much thought to my choice of colleges. But I can honestly say that coming to OSU was the best choice I’ve ever made.

 

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