Why am I not allowed to like Skrillex?

Is it because he has stupid hair? Is it because he’s a weird emo who does flatulent-inspired remixes of pop songs? Or because he gave up real instruments for an iBook?

Actually, I’m making a pretty good argument against myself. Let me start over.

I like Skrillex.

Good. That being said, I don’t care if he’s “real” dubstep or not. From what I can tell, I don’t really care for “real” dubstep. In fact, I don’t even like a lot of Skrillex’s calmer, more “dubstep-ier” songs.

But Sonny Moore, aka Skrillex, obviously has a rock ‘n’ roll background — he was in a band called From First to Last (I had to ask my girlfriend what the band was because I’m not much of a screamo fan) — and it shows in songs like “Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites,” which have distinct guitar-ish riffs.

And have you heard “F—ing Die?” That song will kick your ass, I don’t care who you are. If you like to freak out while you listen to music, his songs are neat-o.

I love spasmodic music. For example, a few of my favorite bands are Mindless Self Indulgence, Ex Models and At the Drive-In. So why wouldn’t I like the palpitating screeches and mind-numbingly low frequencies of Skrillex?

But in today’s musical climate, if you like Skrillex, you’re a traitor to “real” music or “real” dubstep or “real” electronica. But if Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber can be considered anything other than disgusting by anyone, I think I should be allowed to like Skrillex without judgement.

And why don’t Deadmau5, Datsik and Bassnectar come with the same connotation? Aren’t they in the same vein as Skrillex? This “brostep” genre Internet-folk keep insisting on is a real thing.

On almost every Facebook post he makes (and he’s a Facebook whore, for sure), there are usually at least 500 comments, seemingly more than half of which insist he’s a sell-out brostepper and a terrible musician. Some of those get pretty personal and violent.

He posted a new music video on Monday, and within 25 minutes, there were more than 1,800 comments, including this gem: “Gaaaaaaaayyyyyyy.”

Leave us alone, random people who ‘like’ Skrillex’s page just so you can troll. I don’t want to hear your rants about why it’s not a legitimate art form or why he shouldn’t have won three Grammys this year. You all like Chris Brown and Nickelback and Slipknot and Ke$ha. You have no room to talk.

I’m not some ecstasy freak, nor do I frequent raves, but I still like going into a full-body seizure listening to Skrillex drop the bass, even while sober.

I hate it when I’m hanging out with hip people and I have to hide the fact I like his stuff and laugh at them making fart jokes. But that’s more my fault for letting everyone convince me I should be ashamed — and for being a hypocritical jerk, because most of the time I’m the one making fart jokes at Skrillex’s expense.

But it seriously does sound like the aftermath of a Chipotle burrito from hell, right? Good stuff.