This is part of a weekly series called “Pop Opinions” where The Lantern offers its take on the week’s pop culture news.
Kris and Bruce Jenner split
Keeping up with the Kardashians has proved a little difficult lately, between all the K’s (Kris, Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Kendall, Kylie) and their ever-changing homestead.
However, pack-leader Kris Jenner has weeded the odd-letter out and picked up permanent residence in Splitsville, USA. After more than two decades of marriage, Kris and former track and field U.S. Olympian Bruce Jenner have separated.
The news is about as shocking as a self-planned surprise party for yourself — you knew it was going to happen, but you stick around in anticipation to unravel some intriguing boxes with your name on it. Here are some possible gifts that might come from this separation “surprise.”
Executive producer of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” Ryan Seacrest will probably have a “revealing” interview with Kris and Bruce in an E! exclusive. Hard-hitting questions will include: “Was separating from each other hard?” “Is the family sad?” “Can we make a $7.89 million special featuring your divorce date in court, only to have you guys reunite 72 days later?”
The Kardashians might then put the kibosh on their show. It’s been a good run, no doubt about it, but after eight seasons, three spin-offs, two weddings and three babies, it might not be the worst thing ever to halt their procreation.
Perhaps then, it will be revealed the whole eight seasons of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” was actually a huge musical project from Kim Kardashian’s beau and baby daddy, Kanye West. Perhaps West is releasing a follow-up Christmas album to “Yeezus,” titled “Santa Klaus,” and instead of auto-tuning his voice to oblivion, he will simply sample the impeccable vocal fry of the Kardashian sisters.
Speaking of Kanye…
Kanye on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’
Keeping up with Kanye has proved a little difficult lately, between his inexplicable mission to dominate the compass (Kanye West, his newborn daughter North West) and being the second coming of Jesus Khrist.
And now, he is busy trying to own Jimmy Kimmel.
The newest installment in Kanye versus Kimmel arrived when the rapper was scheduled to be a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Wednesday, according to ABC.
Kimmel announced Kanye’s appearance Tuesday night on his show.
“Kanye and I had a disagreement a couple of weeks ago — and it got a little bit out of hand. Tomorrow night, we will sit down and discuss it like normal people do — on television,” Kimmel said.
Look out for the resulting interview.
The feud began when Kimmel spoofed Kanye’s BBC Radio 1 interview, where the rapper claimed to be the first to introduce the idea of leather jogging pants and be the greatest rap artist of them all. However, when the interview was staged using children on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Kanye West made the lighthearted joke go south by bashing Kimmel on Twitter.
“YOU CAN’T PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES. YOUR FACE LOOKS CRAZY…IS THAT FUNNY?… OR IF I HAD A KID SAY IT WOULD IT BE FUNNY???” Kanye tweeted on Sept. 29.
Kanye obviously loves children, and is going to be a great father.
Spoiler alert: The real winner of this feud? Me.
I bought a pair of leather jogging pants from Urban Outfitters a week before Kanye made his known.
So Kanye, in your words, I am, in fact, the god.