Commentary: Rod Stewart hates on The Beatles, Carly Rae Jepsen as Cinderella in week’s pop headlines
This is part of a weekly series called “Pop Opinions” where The Lantern offers its take on the week’s pop culture news.
Rod Stewart says the impossible
It’s not often when the F-bomb is dropped in a sentence referring to The Beatles, nor do I believe as a self-proclaimed, obnoxiously pretentious Beatles fan, is it acceptable.
However, Rod Stewart uttered those words in reference to the, unarguably, best band that has ever and will ever exist, giving added proof that he might not actually be a human.
In admittedly the sleaziest and least world-changing news of the week, TMZ said the award-winning singer and songwriter said he “Couldn’t give a f—” about rumors of Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr reuniting next month on the “Late Show With David Letterman,” when asked by a photographer.
Two things concern me about his statement.
First, if he doesn’t give a funk about the alpha and omega of rock bands having a mini-reunion, then what does he give his funks about? One is born with only so many funks to give, so I just think if you are going to be funky about something, or give your funks to anyone, award them to two of the four men who basically birthed rock ‘n’ roll from their loins.
The F-bomb is the word “funk,” right?
Second, I might just be stirring the pot here, but hear me out: This has Yoko Ono written all over it. It’s plausible she hypnotized Stewart with one of her weird art projects. Reasoning? If she broke up The Beatles once, she will break them up again. Ignorant? Yes. Plausible? You decide.
Lesson to be learned: Don’t mix the F-bomb in the same air in which you breathe The Beatles’ name. Unless it is in the literal, extremely dirty sense of the word — then, maybe. But do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
The wonderful world of Disney just became a little bit more one-hit wonderful.
“Call Me Maybe” songstress Carly Rae Jepsen is replacing Tony-nominated Laura Osnes in Rodgers & Hammerstein’s “Cinderella” on Broadway, starting Feb. 4.
Recently, she posted a photo of herself on Instagram wearing one of Cinderella’s gowns, making the little girl in me squeal at the poofiness of the garment.
I feel as if the story needs to tailor to its star, though. Cinderella can’t just fall for Prince Charming. She needs to court him while washing a car, being all cute with cat-eye eyeliner and quirky, “ironic” bangs. Then, when she finally makes a move, she finds he swings for the other team, a storyline she may or may not be famous for.
She is forever single, damned to constantly be asking guys to call her (maybe?).
What you’ve missed on E! Online
In case you missed out on the latest headlines on E! Online, here are some important ones in a nutshell:
-Actor Chris Pine, known for his role as Kirk in “Star Trek,” is still going strong with Icelandic girlfriend, Íris Björk Jóhannesdóttir. The couple is known by their celebrity tabloid name, ChÍris Björk Jóhannesdóttir.
-Miley Cyrus was spotted baring her midriff while walking her dog in Los Angeles Tuesday, giving the world a revealing look at the singer’s whole belly button. Cover that up, Miley!
-E! Online is so over that throwing-boiling-water-in-the-air-to-make-snow trend. Instead, they posted a Vine explaining what happens when you jump on a frozen trampoline. Surprisingly, you can’t jump on it.
-“Orange Is The New Black” star Jason Biggs tweeted during Monday night’s premiere of ABC’s “The Bachelor” that all the women contestants on the show “are complete f—— disasters.” In other news, water is wet.
-Magician David Copperfield was recently engaged to Chloe Gosselin. E! Online lists five things you should know about her, but there’s only one answer needed to society’s burning question: No, she is not one of Jon and Kate’s plus eight.
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