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Commentary: Rod Stewart hates on The Beatles, Carly Rae Jepsen as Cinderella in week’s pop headlines

January 8, 2014

seamon.17@osu.edu
Responding to rumors of Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr reuniting next month on ‘Letterman,’ singer and songwriter Rod Stewart said, ‘Couldn’t give a f---.’ Credit: Courtesy of MCT

Responding to rumors of Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr reuniting next month on ‘Letterman,’ singer and songwriter Rod Stewart said, ‘Couldn’t give a f—.’
Credit: Courtesy of MCT

This is part of a weekly series called “Pop Opinions” where The Lantern offers its take on the week’s pop culture news.

Rod Stewart says the impossible

It’s not often when the F-bomb is dropped in a sentence referring to The Beatles, nor do I believe as a self-proclaimed, obnoxiously pretentious Beatles fan, is it acceptable.

However, Rod Stewart uttered those words in reference to the, unarguably, best band that has ever and will ever exist, giving added proof that he might not actually be a human.

In admittedly the sleaziest and least world-changing news of the week, TMZ said the award-winning singer and songwriter said he “Couldn’t give a f—” about rumors of Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr reuniting next month on the “Late Show With David Letterman,” when asked by a photographer.

Two things concern me about his statement.

First, if he doesn’t give a funk about the alpha and omega of rock bands having a mini-reunion, then what does he give his funks about? One is born with only so many funks to give, so I just think if you are going to be funky about something, or give your funks to anyone, award them to two of the four men who basically birthed rock ‘n’ roll from their loins.

The F-bomb is the word “funk,” right?

Second, I might just be stirring the pot here, but hear me out: This has Yoko Ono written all over it. It’s plausible she hypnotized Stewart with one of her weird art projects. Reasoning? If she broke up The Beatles once, she will break them up again. Ignorant? Yes. Plausible? You decide.

Lesson to be learned: Don’t mix the F-bomb in the same air in which you breathe The Beatles’ name. Unless it is in the literal, extremely dirty sense of the word — then, maybe. But do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Carly-ella

The wonderful world of Disney just became a little bit more one-hit wonderful.

“Call Me Maybe” songstress Carly Rae Jepsen is replacing Tony-nominated Laura Osnes in Rodgers & Hammerstein’s “Cinderella” on Broadway, starting Feb. 4.

Recently, she posted a photo of herself on Instagram wearing one of Cinderella’s gowns, making the little girl in me squeal at the poofiness of the garment.

I feel as if the story needs to tailor to its star, though. Cinderella can’t just fall for Prince Charming. She needs to court him while washing a car, being all cute with cat-eye eyeliner and quirky, “ironic” bangs. Then, when she finally makes a move, she finds he swings for the other team, a storyline she may or may not be famous for.

She is forever single, damned to constantly be asking guys to call her (maybe?).

What you’ve missed on E! Online

In case you missed out on the latest headlines on E! Online, here are some important ones in a nutshell:

-Actor Chris Pine, known for his role as Kirk in “Star Trek,” is still going strong with Icelandic girlfriend, Íris Björk Jóhannesdóttir. The couple is known by their celebrity tabloid name, ChÍris Björk Jóhannesdóttir.

-Miley Cyrus was spotted baring her midriff while walking her dog in Los Angeles Tuesday, giving the world a revealing look at the singer’s whole belly button. Cover that up, Miley!

-E! Online is so over that throwing-boiling-water-in-the-air-to-make-snow trend. Instead, they posted a Vine explaining what happens when you jump on a frozen trampoline. Surprisingly, you can’t jump on it.

-“Orange Is The New Black” star Jason Biggs tweeted during Monday night’s premiere of ABC’s “The Bachelor” that all the women contestants on the show “are complete f—— disasters.” In other news, water is wet.

-Magician David Copperfield was recently engaged to Chloe Gosselin. E! Online lists five things you should know about her, but there’s only one answer needed to society’s burning question: No, she is not one of Jon and Kate’s plus eight.


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Comments (4)

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  1. JustMe says:

    To be fair, I think you misunderstood Stewart. He never said he doesn’t like The Beatles or that he does think that they were groundbreaking; he simply said that he is not interested by the prospect of this possible “Beatles reunion,” which is understandable as it would only contain two of the four original members (neither of whom is either John Lennon or George Harrison) so it is not actually a full reunion.

    Also, he was being ambushed by paparazzi after having a birthday meal so he was probably frustrated by said paparazzi (hence the swearing) and had some quantity of alcohol in his system.

  2. Rod Stewart? I mean, really . . . Rod Stewart ? The man who makes Tony Orlando sound hip? Every once in a while, some child o the late 50s or so — who achieved some suggestion of fame through outlandish behavior or sheer boorishness — takes on the American Songbook and once again those terrific tunes seduce us into thinking that perhaps this latest reject from the slag heap has some talent. Spread the word generously that he could have been a pro soccer player or some other b.s. — remember that a press agent tried to peddle the nonsense that Sinatra had been a four-sport athelete in high school — and you have a genuine, born-again never was milking the melodies with an phoniness only a doctored engineering session could match. Better for Rod (That Rod Stewart? Really?) Stewart to stay at home, keep his mouth shut, and practice running scales.

  3. DEM says:

    Nothing is quite as pathetic as 70+ year old men performing songs created while in their 20s. I concur with Mr. Stewart. McCartney and Starr have not been relevant for 40 years. Same goes for the ‘Stones. Love that era of music – grew up with it – lets move on.

  4. BJ says:

    Not a problem, Roddy.
    For that bit of noise, I lost respect for you and I just CHOSE to pass up FREE tickets to your concert.
    Someone else can take my place, but I won’t be supporting your bitterness.
    Some guys have all the luck, right?

    Beatle/McCartney fan

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