Advertisement

Opinion: Ohio State’s men’s basketball player Amedeo Della Valle best choice for USG president

March 3, 2014

pellicciaro.1@osu.edu
Sophomore guard Amedeo Della Valle (33) attempts a lay up during a game against Iowa Jan. 12 at the Schottenstein Center. OSU lost, 84-74.

Sophomore guard Amedeo Della Valle (33) attempts a lay up during a game against Iowa Jan. 12 at the Schottenstein Center. OSU lost, 84-74. Credit: Shelby Lum / Photo editor

Ohio State men’s basketball player Amedeo Della Valle is running as a write-in candidate for Undergraduate Student Government president and he is going to win.

His campaign video on YouTube breaks in with the grand melody of the “Rocky” theme and anyone who watches the video will go from giggling to laughing to caring about voting.

The sophomore guard is the only candidate to express interest in OSU having more snow days. He claims to be endorsed by musician Jay-Z and the scientist Bill Nye.

Della Valle’s unreal skills hitting three-point shots put him a cut above the other candidates, none of whom scored five points against Illinois Feb. 15.

OK, so he might not be the most prominent player on the OSU basketball team. Regardless of that, he is certainly the most prominent candidate for USG president, standing 6-feet-5-inches tall and weighing 190 pounds.

Now, imagine yourself lost in the Canadian wilderness with all of the USG presidential candidates. Can you think of a candidate more capable of fending off a rabid wolverine than Della Valle? That’s right, you cannot.

Della Valle is a native of Italy and spent part of the video making sure viewers knew how to say and spell his name. This hits home if, like me, you have a long Italian last name that not a single teacher in elementary school could get right.

Not only does Della Valle appeal to the people, but he doesn’t need annoying little minions on the Oval handing out flyers to campaign.

Della Valle’s running mate is “Slam” Thompson, as if Della Valle was not already guaranteed an election win.

If the epic highlights in the video of Della Valle playing basketball for OSU don’t seal the deal, this self-proclaimed “Italian Stallion” is a master of taking selfies and looks phenomenal wearing a banana suit.

What are the other candidates wearing? Khakis and high heels, just like regular political people.

Sure, he is a Division I basketball player. But he is also one of us. This is what the OSU student body needs, a USG president for all of us.

Also, the fact that Della Valle has any chance of getting elected is a sign that only a fraction of the student body is paying attention to the USG elections. It’s not like USG controls hundreds of thousands of dollars of funding for student programs, right?

This is not high school, where the presidential vote is a popularity contest among preppy overachievers. The vote matters here.


The Lantern uses two-click social media buttons to protect your privacy. Click once to load the button, then again to share!

Comments (11)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’m legitimately upset that this farce will take votes away from the other six teams of candidates who are far more qualified and have put far more work into forming a campaign.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Fake Lantern for President

  3. Richard says:

    I’ve never voted and now I will. I’ll also encourage others I know to actually vote for him too. USG elections are dumb. I’m finishing my 5th year (earning a masters – still an undergrad so I can vote) and have never felt the impact of the USG. Secondly, this is a popularity contest for the political science majors. If the money controlled was so important then an accounting student should be a front runner every year. Finally, the effort most of these candidates put in are harassing to the student population.

  4. Andrew Warnecke says:

    @Richard 10:01

    Literally only 2/6 of the candidates are Political Science majors, and those are the two that are arguably in last place. Nice rant though.

  5. Anonymous says:

    The elections are pointless anymore. Finishing my 5th year of undergrad and I’ve never felt any impact from the USG elections at all.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I think the political science majors in the race are very good candidates and would make fine Presidents. Clearly that is not Andrew Warnecke because I checked and he is one of these political science majors.

  7. Anonymous says:

    #Warnecke/Recker2014 Your Voice Your Choice

  8. Anonymous says:

    We need Andrew Warnecke

  9. Anonymous says:

    I believe in Andrew Warnecke

  10. Bond says:

    Warnecke Now!!!

  11. Richard says:

    To the individual who did respond to me:

    It wasn’t a rant, just my opinion. No one cares about the elections and maybe Amedeo winning will make the university realize this process is currently flawed.

    In regards to the degree I mentioned, it was the first I could think of that I have seen mentioned for USG. Since you wanted to bring it up though, 3/12 presidents/VPs are political science and it is the most common major.

    #Vote4Deo

Leave a Reply

Current ye@r *