Justin Bieber is a masochist.
This was my single stream of thought when I read the announcement that he is going to be roasted on Comedy Central.
According to Bieber’s Twitter, he had been begging Comedy Central for a roast, and it finally delivered.
“For years I have wanted Comedy Central to roast me. They said only if I provided them w/ more material so for a year now I have worked hard,” said his Twitter, @justinbieber.
Insert eye roll here.
Am I really supposed to believe that Bieber’s attention-grabbing antics have all been to get a roast on Comedy Central?
So leaving your pet monkey in Germany, breaking up with your girlfriend, fighting with celebrities over Twitter and getting caught drag racing and smiling in your mug shot, have all been a ploy to get a special on TV?
No, you have done all that stuff (and more) because you are a 20-year-old with way too much money.
But my beef isn’t with Bieber. I am just a girl heartbroken that he’s not the pubescent teen he once was. I expect this from a Calvin Klein model and (former?) pop star. (Seriously, when was the last time you made a hit, Biebs?)
My beef lies with Comedy Central.
Come on guys, this roast is way too obvious.
Yeah, sure, Bieber took lots of pictures in his underwear. And yeah, sure, he did leave his pet monkey in Germany (that was pretty bad), and yeah we all know he smiled in his mug shot. (But admit it; you secretly loved that he did that)
But this is all material we know, material we have already made our own jokes about over and over again.
Are there really any more jokes to tell?
Instead of flexing its comedic muscles, Comedy Central is reaching for the bad apples, the low-hanging fruits.
With previous roasts of people like Charlie Sheen, Pamela Anderson and Donald Trump, Comedy Central is exemplifying its laziness.
I would be more excited for a roast of someone I don’t read jokes about on the Internet every day. Give me a roast of Joe Biden (please Comedy Central, please) or Bill Gates. Give me something unexpected.
I am not the only one who feels this way. Twitter reacted to the announcement with the hashtag “#BieberRoast.” With many people wondering the same thing I am, what more can you say?
P.S. Preteens, if I don’t get at least three comments on this article about how I am the worst person in the world for being mean to Bieber, then you have really let me down.
The roast is set to air March 7, and if you want to make a drinking game of it and take a shot every time you have already heard that joke, you might actually have a really great time.