The Cleveland Browns are not good.
But hey, fans, look over here. The Browns are set to unveil a new logo in just a matter of days.
Guess what? It isn’t going to make a difference.
No matter what monstrosity of a logo Jimmy Haslem and his cohorts show to the suffering fans of arguably the worst franchise of the last 15 years, it isn’t going to change the product on the field.
And if you are a Cleveland native like myself, a new logo is just the latest in a heap of distractions.
Whether it be text-gate, Johnny’s rehab or practically begging a journeyman quarterback to return to his hometown team, the Browns have run out of options to keep fans optimistic.
Imagine being in the meeting room where a select group of Browns officials gathered, and Haslem got up and said, much like coach Klein at halftime of the Bourbon Bowl, “Anybody got an idea?”
And some great visionary, some modern-day Confucius, stood up and said, “Let’s change the logo.”
From what I might ask?
The elf, the mascot dog “Chomps,” or the actual real-life dog “Swagger”?
The point is the Browns didn’t know their own identity off the field and they certainly don’t know what it is on the field.
How about before rebranding with a new sad excuse for a logo, fixing the problem on the field?
That, however, might be too tough a task as it is, because let’s be honest, who wants to come to Cleveland to play for the Browns?
Now, before you jump on my back about thrashing the 216, let me be clear: I am a Cleveland native. I grew up just 30 minutes south on I-71 in Brunswick, Ohio. I’ve been to the “upgraded” FirstEnergy Stadium, or whatever it’s called nowadays.
I was in the stands on the 40-yard line when “Johnny Football” made his first NFL start. I sat there for 58 of the 60 minutes (‘cause who could stand all 60 minutes of that debacle?) just to watch the Browns put up 107 yards of offense with the player who was supposed to be the franchise player behind center.
Even with a slightly above-average defense, let me ask you: If you weren’t from Cleveland, and had no ties to the city, would you want to wear the Orange and Brown?
The answer is a resounding no.
Even if they come up with some NFL “Dawg” version of the Oregon Duck uniforms or put Jim Brown’s face as the logo on the 50-yard line, it won’t change the disaster that takes the field each Sunday.
So if the Browns are going to change the logo, at least make it something worthwhile.
Perhaps a dollar sign, to remind fans of how much money they are going to be wasting on tickets and apparel just to see the rebranded franchise continue to be a bottom-dweller for another 15 seasons.