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Opinion: Blind datesBlind dates can be tinder for a new flame

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Have a problem with love or life in general? Send Ogonna your questions at askogonna@gmail.com and get them answered here in her column. You can also tweet her at @askogonna


Reader: So, what’s the deal with blind dates and friends acting as matchmakers? Does that even happen anymore?

Ogonna: In a time where Tinder is the center for all meetups, hookups and once in a blue moon cordial dates, I think the idea of blind dates has regressed from an opportunity to meet someone with few preconceived notions to being the set-up for a sketchy scene from a scary movie.

Just like meeting up with a stranger for anything (even selling football tickets), I can’t say there is an explicitly right way to do blind dates. But there are definitely some wrong ways. Tip: dimly-lit bars on deserted corner streets are definitely not the way to go.

Think about how you’re being introduced. Is this by way of a friend or close acquaintance that you trust or by someone who you’re not super close with? If the mediator doesn’t know you very well, you might want to be a little more hesitant. Maybe hang out in a group of mutual friends or go on a double or even triple date before going out solo. That way you can avoid any stereotypical awkward or sketchy happenings that may ensue.

Now think about the reason why you are going on this date. Is this because you’re bored and want something to do? Is this because you’re longing for a date because you haven’t been out in what feels like ages? Is this because your friend’s cute cousin is in town and you finally have the opportunity to spend time with him or her in a more personal setting? Whatever the reason may be, make sure of your intentions so that your expectations err on the side of being better than you hoped for and not the opposite.

Overall, I would trust friends’ set ups over any other type of meeting. If your friend that you trust with secrets to the grave has a matchmaking spirit, it could be cool to try it out.

I know a myriad of people who reject being set up because they think it’s silly or awkward or even a desperate move, but I and a certain Canadian, Frank Sinatra-esque singer disagree. My song of choice for situations like these is Michael Bublé’s famous “Haven’t Met You Yet,” because this could potentially end up being the theme of the night.

I get it. Blind dates or set ups lose that appeal of having someone want to date you on their own terms and for their own affectionate reasons without anyone else’s help. When you have a go-between in your love life, it doesn’t have the same allure as the prospect of fate or “love at first sight.” But just because the first date is set up doesn’t mean it lacks the same opportunistic value.

You might have a friend of a friend who would be perfect for you, but you’d never know because you just actually haven’t met each other yet. Or, you might have a crush on someone and be hesitant to ask your mutual friend to set you up. A valid inhibition, but what do you really have to lose? After all, there is a reason the two of you share mutual friends, so you have to have something in common.

With that said, for those of you who do go through with match-made dates, a great starting point is obviously making fun of your mutual friends or sharing funny stories to break the ice. So all you match-makers better watch out, your turn at holding Cupid’s arrow might just backfire …

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