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A bathroom stall similar to the Gwyneth Weinstein might have had her epiphany in. Credit: Sallee Ann Ruibal | Arts&Life Editor
A bathroom stall similar to the Gwyneth Weinstein might have had her epiphany in. Credit: Sallee Ann Ruibal | Arts&Life Editor

Satire: Student inspired by writing on bathroom stall door

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After seeing a message written on the bathroom stall door of a classroom building, Gwyneth Weinstein, student at Ohio State, decided to change her life drastically.

“I was having a bad week and was really bored in my English 1101 class when I went to take a p—, and I saw a variety of different sayings written in various Sharpies right in front of me,” said Weinstein, still sitting in the same stall.

She insisted that upon first look we would understand the impact it has made on her life. She showed us the various sayings scribbled on the stall door that had motivated her epiphany. The vandalized words included: “Chin up, darling, your crown is falling,” “You are beautiful, even when you poop,” and “For a good time, call (a smudged series of numbers).”

“Someone took the time out of their day to help other people realize their beauty, and THAT is beautiful,” Weinstein said. “I decided to switch my major from pre-med to inspirational sayings.”

Weinstein explained that she went to her adviser the next day, who informed her that it was not, in fact, a real area of study. She was so distraught that she withdrew from the university, claiming that “the world just wants everyone to be unhappy” and it was her duty to inspire women relieving themselves everywhere.

She claims that even if she can’t study it, she has chosen this new path in life and will devote all of her time writing on bathroom walls. Weinstein then unhinged the bathroom stall to take it home so that she would never forget what inspired her breakthrough.
She said she plans to copy those sayings word-for-word onto other bathroom stall doors until she can come up with her own.

– Lauren Moliterno is a Senior Staff Member for The Sundial Humor Magazine

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