“Hello. My name is Stephen Flannigan. i am a little boy from Columbia, Missouri. i have a lot of friends. Next week, we’re going out to the carnival. i think it’s gonna be sunny. i love carnivals. i like sunny skies, warm trees, and little poodles.i can’t wait to start school either. It’s gonna be soooo much fun! I’ll get to play with the other kids. We’re gonna scribble with crayons, and beat up little girls, and eat a big messy pile of something they call lunch. i don’t think it will be very good though.My mommy told me that i have to go to school. She also said that any espectable person has to go to school and get edumacated. I’m gonna get straight A’s, just watch me. I’ll be the valedc, the baledict – I’ll be a victorian when i graduate!i wanna learn about art, science, cooking, and how to make chocolate covered grasshoppers. i hate math though. i don’t wanna study about math and stuff.i don’t wanna stupid girlfriend either! Girls have kooties! i don’t wanna be a kootie-kootie big fat bootie.My mommy always told me that i could be whatever i wanted. But i would have to read, and read, and read sommore. So that is what i did. Heck, i can remember reading all the way back to when…i can’t remember not being able to read.One day, I’m gonna be out of high school, graduated and edumacated. Then I’m gonna go on to be a world leader. But first, I’m gonna start as mayor of my city. My mommy told me that you have to start small. Help the people in your community first, something about grass, or roots or something.Anyway, after I’m the mayor, I’m gonna straighten out all of the bad people. There will be no more murders, no more hate. Then, I’m gonna run for governor and win by a huge number! Now, I’ll have the chance to get the whole state in shape buddy. Everyone will listen to me, but they will want to. Because, I’ll have all the right answers. I’ll get the homeless off the streets and get ’em jobs and stuff. I’ll even get the Spice Girls off everybody’s radio. After a couplea’ years as governor, I’ll go on to be President of the United States of America! I’ll get to take on the big projects then. First, I’d make sure all drugs stayed against the law. Then, i would get all the guns off the streets, except for police. They can have some, but not automatics. Also as president, i would outlaw boys from kissing girls on the playground; that’s gross.After giving all of the Americans a piece of my mind, i would then help overseas. i would plea bargain with Sadaam Hussein to stop producing weapons of mass destruction. (I heard that on the news) Then i would emphasize the importance of world peace. Why can’t we all love each other?The other day this old lady was walking down the street. Then she dropped this quarter, but that’s not important.Anyways, as President of the USA, i would whip the world into shape! I’m excited about making people feel better. i wanna have it so that everybody loves everybody else. i want there to be no hungry people in Africa, or no more wars in the East.It’s gonna be…well gosh, i must be daydreaming. None of this will ever happen. I’ll never be able to do any of that. I’ll never grow up to be mayor. I’ll never grow up to be governor. And’ I’ll never grow up to be president. I’ll never grow up. Period.i love my mommy. i love her with all my heart. It’s not her fault, i guess.When i cry, the angels wipe my tears away. They tell me it’s gonna be alright. i still love mommy though. i love her a lot.i just wish she would have loved me too. i could have done really good. Why did she have to have an abortion?
Roe v. Wade didn’t help Stephen, and yet we should celebrate its anniversary on Thursday? Michael A. Norman’ s column appears Wednesdays . He can be reached at [email protected]
