Where has all the originality gone? Case in point: Last week’s simple-minded piece by Nathan Crabbe. Served up as another soliloquy born out of ignorance rather than any meaningful social purpose, Crabbe’s commentary was matched only in unoriginality by his half-cocked eye for comedy.With the lack of wit common to a contemporary Saturday Night Live episode, Crabbe wrote himself right into the starring role of a John Hughes film, complete with a “they’re more popular than me and I’m going to cry” plot. It seems Nathan “Can’t Buy Me Love” Crabbe is feeling a little left out. Yada Yada Yawn.The question is how someone with no practical experience in the greek system can systematically trash it.Look no further than Crabbe’s active imagination and tabloid-like sixth sense as he moves cleverly through a series of knee-slapping, belly-aching quips. My personal favorite was the one about ritual bloodletting and animal sacrifice. Whew, my side still hurts. Crabbe, if you’re going to bash someone at least make it creative. But then again, with the droves of equally unoriginal responses from the greek community, I can see where one might be drawn to his stereotypical conclusions. There is nothing more pathetic than the patriotic calls of community service with fraternity and justice for all.Perhaps even more frustrating is the greek system’s apparent lack of knowledge as to the purpose of the editorial page in this newspaper. As a formerLantern writer, I would like to chastise the multitudes of greeks who sent in shoot-from-the-hip, grammatically incorrect, unintelligible letters. And so many people ask me why their letters don’t get printed.Frankly, we at the Lantern have grown tired of greeks calling to complain about bad publicity. Maybe if you stop pitching totally un-newsworthy stories like Sunday afternoon barbecues you might get better press. Next time leave the sauce at home.On the other hand, when real problems confront the greek community, its leaders more often than not hide from any clear stance on the issue. The greek community is systematically turning itself into fodder for the greek-bashing rumor mill. As an alumnus of Kappa Sigma I ask my fellow greeks to throw away the obviously ineffective attempt at PR and come clean. After all, anyone who tells me they joined a fraternity or sorority for the community service deserves to be hazed.Let’s be honest. You, I, Buffy and Chip all joined the greek system to have fun, make connections and meet attractive people. And what’s so wrong with that.Crabbe’s translucent argument that greeks pay for these opportunities is comical as every one at this university is already, as he says, “paying to make friends, get laid or make connections” – it’s called tuition.I make no apology for trying to make the most of my social opportunities. Slap me silly and call me sentimental but I happen to enjoy the thought of 75 girls dancing in my basement. God forbid I make a few friends or gain any contacts on the way. That’s known as networking and I embrace every bit of it. In my world, the reality is that connections get you further, friends make you feel better and self-pity lands you talking into an empty mic. The gist of Mr. Crabbe’s argument, however, is that greeks are sheep, lead by the nose of uniformity. A collective group yes, uniform throughout no.Just like the African-American or Asian communities, each member shares a common interest with the group, but it’s our personalities that make us individuals. It’s ludicrous to say all greeks are the same, just as it is to collectively label all African-Americans.The greek system is a community, and like all communities, it has problems. But blasting those who belong to this group for the clothes they wear or friends they associate with, is like calling the only two people who listen to Mr. Crabbe’s KBUX talk show equally unoriginal.Let’s all stop the whining. Our education, with all its political correctness, has taught us to accept diversity. The greek system is but one organization among thousands that define our university community. By forcing it to conform to Mr. Crabbe’s standards, we are in real danger of becoming his “cloned sheep.”According to Mr. Crabbe I have sold my soul. My hell will surely be an eternity of reading endless unoriginal editorials. Maybe God is a Kappa Sig and I’ll catch a break.
Anthony Huey is a recent OSU graduate.
