The beginning of relationships are a confusing time. With emotions running wild, no one knows exactly what to say, how to act, or where things are headed.And that is the best time for what cynics call “double-speak,” an art form of language skills perfected to hone in on the other person’s romantic platform.Two people meet, looks are exchanged, maybe the occasional phone number, and the game of innuendo has begun.The “game.” It may end ecstatically wonderful, or miserably depressing. And one must keep in mind that there is no happy “friends” medium once two people have exchanged, well, whatever those two deem appropriate to exchange.Thus, double-speak is one of the rules of the game; a rule that few seem to recognize as being important to not only building sexual tension, but which may also be used to engender a sense of intrigue within the other person.The greatest line of double-speak people can give their love interest is “we’ll see where things go.” This could mean many things, the most obvious being “I’ll wait and see if you go psycho on me within the next two weeks so I’ll know when to kick you to the curb.”However, this statement could also mean that “I’m extremely interested in you and am hoping things will go somewhere. Somewhere good, so I can continue smiling about you day after day.””Where things go,” a double-speak catchphrase, can also infer that a “back-off” speech may be in the works. By being extremely vague, a person could be implying that “this is something OK for the time being, but there is definitely no need to establish parameters because, frankly, I don’t want any.”Double-speak may also have no words involved in it whatsoever. A mere glance can speak volumes about what the other person is thinking, if it is read correctly by the one receiving it. Some glances may infer that “you are the living end, or at least you have the potential to become it.” On the other hand, a glance could imply that “I have no idea what the hell I am doing with you except filling my time with something other than ‘Saved By The Bell’ reruns.”The idea of double-speak is woven throughout the entire beginning of a relationship, coloring answers to such questions as the proverbial “what are you thinking right now?”Naturally, such a vague question demands an equally vague answer. One could be honest and say “I’m picturing your clothes on my floor tomorrow morning,” but let’s be realistic: People are not going to say exactly what is going through their minds early on in a relationsip, simply because half of the fun is allowing the mystery to continue.And that’s the point of double-speak: to allow the mystical aura surrounding virginal relationships to continue while, of course, having fun along the way.Let’s face it, no one, aside from the inevitable grinders at The Edge, is going to walk up to a woman (or a man, because women can be grinders, too!) and ask “how ’bout a little action tonight, honey?”No. Subtlety is the key – understated implications are pertinent to the survival of any relationship. Hence, the need for double-speak, one of the most underrated perks of new love.
Nicole Pankuch is a senior majoring in journalism who believes parameters are meant to be broken.
