This week’s column is dedicated to those people everyone loves to hate, that is, until you need them: the University Police!
I thought to myself, what do they enjoy more than breaking up underage drinking?
If you haven’t guessed already, this week’s topic is donuts and coffee.
The first donut shop I critiqued was Buckeye Donuts, located at 1998 N. High St. I was pleased the handicap-accessible restaurant was clean; both the front of the house and what I could see of the back.
That’s an accomplishment for a restaurant open 24 hours. While customers are free to light-up, the air was stink-free during my stay. Seating is limited, though after picking up my order I had no problem grabbing a stool at the counter.
While there, I helped myself to one of the free newspapers floating around and listened to what sounded like “Mob Hits” filtering through the speakers.
Service here was great. I was donutted and coffeed no less than three minutes after walking in the door. Buckeye Donuts does offer an expansive selection of pastries, bottled fruit drinks, and a gas-station-style cappuccino machine. Most food critics agree that truck-stop cappuccino is finer than anything you’ll get out of Italy.
The coffee might have been your standard American brew, but it was hot and fresh without any burnt taste. While sipping mine, I noticed that the majority of customers here must be regulars. They could walk in and sit down and have donuts brought to them without a word.
My cinnamon roll was superb. It was light and fluffy, not overwhelmingly sweet or sticky. The roll came out warm, soft and utterly delicious.
I’m not sure why donut shops call their glazed donuts “honey dipped.” They don’t taste like honey at all. They’d probably call them “mango swirled” if they thought they’d sell more of them.
Regardless, my honey-dipped donut was also soft, fresh, and with just the right amount of sugar.
The Grumpy Gourmet once told me, “Eat something you can write about.” I mention this because I’m getting worried that the words “hot”, “soft” and “fresh” are going to be used over and over. Bear with me and understand that good coffee is hot, and good donuts are soft and fresh.
My old-fashioned cake donut was also worth noting. While it also benefited from the correct amount of sugar, it had that unmistakable hearty texture that cake-donut fans love.
The vanilla crème was a different story. While fresh and lightly powdered, the crème inside was far too strong. I could feel my teeth melting after the first bite.
Unless you’re looking for a legal alternative to speed, I’d steer clear of this one.
According to the wife of the pop of this mom and pop establishment, he bakes once a day at night during the week and twice on Sundays. To get your donuts at their freshest, I recommend either coming in around 6 a.m. or 6 p.m. Sundays.
When I asked her what makes her donuts the best on the strip, she told me that the recipes they use haven’t changed for 30 years. Unfortunately, prices have. You can get your donuts for $0.65 a piece or $4.40 a dozen.
The following day I headed next door to Tim Horton’s at 2020 N. High St. As a national chain, Tim Horton’s was handicap accessible, clean and has plenty of seating. I tried to order the same donuts I had at Buckeye Donuts, but somehow Tim was out of standard glazed donuts.
For a minute I thought they ran out of workers too until a glassy-eyed woman staggered out from hiding in the back. She told me that Tim Horton’s doesn’t bake their own donuts but has them delivered early in the morning and then again in the mid-afternoon.
Getting information out of this woman was nearly impossible. The only thing this tired woman apparently wanted to do less than work was answer my questions.
I pulled up a chair in their seating area and grabbed a Lantern to read. As you readers know, all the reputable Columbus food critics use the Lantern as their source for timely news and information. If only it came in two-ply.
The coffee here was completely automated, right down to the crème and sugar. Again, while the coffee wasn’t anything to write home about, it was hot and fresh.
While perfect in all other respects, my cinnamon roll was a lot stickier here than at Buckeye Donuts and seemed to be running low on cinnamon. If I had wanted a sugar roll, I’d have ordered one.
The old-fashioned donut was good, though unremarkable. I could rewrite the description I used for the Buckeye donut, but out of laziness I’ll just tell you it was about the same.
The Boston crème was the biggest disappointment of the day. The chocolate frosting was so strong that you could hardly taste anything else; the same goes for the vanilla crème. Tim Horton’s undercut Buckeye Donuts prices with $0.60 donuts and $3.95 a dozen.
Hank Mylander is a junior in information systems from Westerville. All questions and concerns can be e-mailed to [email protected].
