It’s a-me, Hank Mylander, here to bring all you faithful Lantern readers the latest that culinary Columbus has to offer.
If your goal this year is to be happy and fat, have I got the restaurant for you. Buca di Beppo, is one of the more recent high-profile establishments to come to town. It serves up some of the finest cuisine this critic has ever tasted.
I was told that “Buca di Beppo” translates to “Big Joe’s Basement.” I can assure you that I have little doubt as to how Joe got big in the first place. It probably has something to do with his 12,000 calorie dinners.
Buca di Beppo is located in the new Arena District in downtown Columbus. There’s no public parking so you’re forced to use one of the many scenic parking lots that dot that area. Be sure to schedule your visit around any big events thrown downtown. Because of the Faith Hill and Tim McGraw concert, attendants were trying to charge up to $20 even for only an hour or two. I’m serious, when one of them first told me the price, I was tempted to tell him right where I’d like to park.
Even though the restaurant was packed wall-to-wall with fat (and happy!) suburbanites, because of our reservations, the hostess quickly called our name and started us on the grand tour of the restaurant.
The hostess walked us through the spotless kitchen where one of the cooks showed off some of the day’s specials.
There is also a table in the kitchen where guests can sit and get backstage experience.
While this felt a little gimmicky, it does demonstrate Buca’s confidence in their kitchen and kitchen staff.
There is also another table, the “Pope Table,” where Catholics and hell-bound alike can sit amongst numerous Pope knick-knacks. I’ll quote Homer Simpson and say, “Mmmsacrilicious.”
The hostess made it a point to cheer something at the table as she walked by to which they cheered back. Little did I know at the time that she would do this every single time she walked by that table.
By the end of the night, that group was so drunk that they were seriously getting loud. I was surprised that Westerville’s noise ordinance goon squad didn’t show up to shut them down.
In general, the atmosphere is gently lit with your standard eye candy on the walls. One of the more interesting ones, we quickly discovered, was the menu. In the area we were in, there was a lot of hardwood flooring and furniture, which gave the place a nice mom-and-pop feel. A note of caution: The place is seriously loud. Unlike other restaurants much of the noise can be attributed to the patrons and not merely the blaring Muzak.
Our kind and courteous waiter quickly greeted our table and spent no less than five minutes explaining the menu and how the “family-style” portion system works.
Readers take heed: Even the smallest orders at Buca di Beppo are meant to feed at least two morbidly obese people, or three to four average masticators. I half-expected my iced tea to be served with three glasses and a trough of tea.
When it came time to order, we decided on a small Caesar salad, garlic bread, the chicken salt and boca (special of the day), eggplant parmesan, and tiramisu for dessert.
I expected the industry-standard restaurant iced tea and was not disappointed. While uninspiring, the drinks were served quickly and promptly refilled throughout dinner.
The Caesar salad was, by far, the weak link of the evening, though still decent. The small salad was served in a large bowl that easily held enough green for all three of us. The salad tasted like it had been made two hours prior to our arrival and placed in a refrigerator until we ordered. The romaine lettuce was a little limp and the croutons were soggy. The dressing itself was excellent and if you love anchovies, this salad comes loaded to bear. Personally, a stale, salty and fishy taste doesn’t jive well with my palate, but give them a shot anyway.
The garlic bread was glorious. It was served in what appeared to be a deep-dish pizza pan and was at least two inches thick.
The butter was baked into the top, which was then covered with numerous large slices of garlic. I would guess a whole clove was used and I can still taste that garlic when I belch. Feel like being spanked by Italy’s patron saint of herbs? Order the garlic bread. Both the salad and garlic bread were served about 10 minutes after the drinks.
After another 10 minutes, the eggplant parmesan and chicken salt im bocca were brought out. The eggplant dish was delicious with the marinara sauce blending seamlessly with the taste of the eggplant.
The entrée was also very light and didn’t weigh me down like many other Italian dishes.
The single order contained enough food for six people.
The chicken salt im bocca was even more impressive. “Salt im bocca,” translates to “jump into your mouth,” but fear not, my order arrived nice and dead.
The dish consists of marinated chicken breasts with prosciutto ham and pickled artichoke hearts. The artichoke hearts added a zangy flavor that rested soundly on the chicken and ham base. I’ve never tasted anything quite like it before and would definitely recommend it as a class act.
The true star of the evening was the tiramisu dessert. The rich and creamy icing, delicious cake and copious amounts of rum made this a dessert to remember. If you order nothing else, try the tiramisu. Just be sure to appoint a designated driver. I’m positive I drove home illegally after that dessert.
The dress code is college friendly and while pricey, Boca di Beppo makes a fine place for a special occasion.
Remember, make reservations, schedule around big downtown events, and order that tiramisu!
Fellow masticators, you really ought to check this place out.
Hank Mylander is a junior information systems major from Westerville. All questions and concerns can be e-mailed to [email protected].
