Safe to say, I’m not the only one who wishes the student involvement fair happened more than once a year. In fact, I wish it happened more than once a week.
At no other time during the year are there that many hot girls and guys, (I am not saying there were hot guys) densely populated on campus without the sweet nectars of alcohol present.
But unlike a cold beverage, the once-a-year student involvement fair does not quench my undying thirst for people-watching. My only other option to satisfy my ever-present yearning for, well, staring at people, is to become involved with students.
Given the opportunity to sit at The Lantern’s booth during the fair, I was able to gaze at the visions of femininity that would fill the thoughts in my head for days.
I also saw things quite disturbing, distasteful and disdainful. The things you won’t see on an Ohio State brochure. The things that you think of when you lie in bed at night. Well, any night you didn’t watch “Wild Things” before going to sleep.
In essence, I learned which students I would and would not want to get involved with in the fair that is my life.
As is present at any such gathering, “candy” caught my eye at the student involvement fair. Never before did I wish to be a blowpop. A pair of girls I was lucky enough to say hello to at The Lantern booth should write a book. Its title would have to be, “How to Become a Legend: Looking Great at the Ohio State Student Involvement Fair Licking a Red Lollipop with a Pierced Tongue and Pierced Belly Button.”
But in an instant these fantastic freshmen angels, (not to be confused with the Anaheim Angels of Major League Baseball), were gone. Battered, but not broken, I looked on into the green pastures of the Oval and set my sights elsewhere.
Obviously, nothing was going to top the two girls mentioned above, but what I went on to see saddened my precious heart.
On the top of most people’s agenda at the student involvement fair is people watching. I could only wish some of the people there would have watched themselves in the mirror before heading outside Monday afternoon.
What is the deal with girls with more than a little girth in the abdominal area wearing shirts that show off the stomach? I simply wish the girls that have a lot of skin, wouldn’t show so much of it.
Some girls of Delta Gamma also caught my eye. For all the wrong reasons, though. Given the events of Sept. 11, their fatigue attire was rather distasteful and offensive. These mavens of the fashion world apparently did not take out any time to reflect on how inappropriate it was to adorn army fatigues with sorority names on it at this sorrowful time. Next time girls, spend less time on the hair and more time on watching the news.
Minutes prior to packing up and heading to work I saw the most vile of student behavior. A gentleman from a campus organization approached a table near me and asked the people at the table to display a flyer that said, “No War.”
Draped over the table was an American flag, making it the best looking table at the entire fair. Throughout the day, no one harmed this flag and everyone treated it with respect.
Except Mr. No-War-Man who thought the flag would be a good place to rest his cup of coffee.
Sadly, we have students at OSU who will protest a war and are willing to desecrate the symbol that makes such protests possible.
Overall, the crop of Buckeyes looks good, but most need a little shaping up before I choose to become involved with them.
Dave O’Neil is The Lantern sports editor. While you may not think so, he knows he’s right. E-mail him at [email protected].
