Shout it from the mountains on out to the sea: The nachos at Estrada are crappy but free. Readers, while Estrada, located at 240 King Ave., makes a fine place to defile yourselves with the help of their signature margaritas, the cuisine remains entirely unappealing until after about four drinks. By contrast, the majority of our campus womenstart looking decent after only two.
Thankfully, Estrada is no mere bar; it has easily the finest casual drinking/dining patio on campus. So if you’re just in it for the booze or the latest binge has made you hungry, you can stumble toward a lot worse places than Estrada. Believe me, I know.
Immediately after your arrival, your table is given its refillable bowl of nachos and fresh, albeit bland, salsa. Sadly, these Chi Chi’s wannabes were of that common, tasteless, yellow variety. Come on, Estrada; shell out the extra quarter and buy nachos intended for party animals, not circus animals.
Revelers ready to imbibe in the beer should bring their IDs. As luck would have it, I forgot mine at home and had to proceed with Plan B: Thoroughly inebriating myself beforehand. I tried to order anyway, more to test out Estrada’s security than to wrap my strong hands around one of those big, chilled glasses of sweet, sweet margarita. To make a long story short, our waitress nailed me and went on to call me the “No Margarita Man” for the remainder of our stay.
Don’t bring this disgrace upon yourselves because generally speaking, at Estrada if you’re not drunk (or otherwise incapacitated), you’re not happy. Without a blood alcohol level of at least .20, you might remember you’re paying too much for awful eats.
Co-Masticator Nishanta ordered a lime margarita and writes, “This is incredible. I got it on the rocks with salt, and I was in heaven (or my equivalent thereof, considering my disbelief in a utopian afterlife). The lime taste is very prevalent along with the alcohol, making it a perfect match.”
The frozen strawberry margarita was similarly intoxicating. Co-Masticator Mark remarks, “All of the flavors were blended together so well that no one flavor overpowered the others. The only problem is the strawberry margarita is only served frozen, while I wanted it on the rocks. I sat and watched them make it on the rocks and then mix it in a blender.” Even if, for reasons incomprehensible to me, the act of blending does more than just dilute the liquor, I think it’s perfectly fair for Mark to judge the flavor himself. What kind of cantina fascists would think otherwise?
Co-Masticator Quinn sampled Estrada’s enchilada and comments, “I thought it was boring. The sauce didn’t have much flavor or spiciness. Furthermore, the cheap chicken and questionable vegetable selection made the sauce resemble canned stir fry.”
Ray’s Special wasn’t especially good, either. Co-Masticator Nishanta tried this and writes, “Ray’s Special was a couple of marinated chicken strips cooked until dry and flaky then covered in bad black beans. The cheese on top simply can’t cover up the dryness. Don’t get me wrong, it was still better than Kelly’s Deli; it’s just not what I expected from a ‘Special Entrée’.”
Like most of our campus architecture, my Monster Burrito was big and boring. It’s described in the menu as “a large, flour tortilla stuffed with beans, rice and lettuce, then smothered with our famous ranchero sauce. Garnished with lettuce, salsa & sour cream. $5.75.” I paid an extra dollar for some burnt, crumbly hamburger, too. I’ve eaten worse things in my life, but for my money, I’ll stick with La Bamba.
In closing, you’ll never find a better patio for summer drinking than Estrada. I recommend eating beforehand, however, lest ye be tempted whilst hammered. Eat the free chips, invest that food money in another round of margaritas and remember, as always, friends don’t let friends drive too drunk.
Hank Mylander is a senior in management information systems. Those looking for smaller words and the gripping testimony of one man’s struggle with self-love would do well to read Jon Alexander’s column in The Tank. The Masticator can be reached via e-mail for comment and criticism at [email protected].
