For those who are gluttons for punishment, Steven Shainberg’s third film, “Secretary,” is a perfect way to suffer two hours away.
The film relays the story of Lee Holloway (Maggie Gyllenhaal), a twenty-something shy type who upgrades her habit of burning and cutting herself for a sadomasochistic relationship with her new boss, E. Edward Gray (James Spader).
Billed as a sexual drama, the film’s advertisements appear dark, artistic and sexy, much like Luis Buñuel’s 1967 cult classic “Belle de Jour.” However, unlike “Belle de Jour,” this film has rambling, sappy dialogue, terrible art direction and is about as hot as walking in on your parents having sex.
The film offers an intriguing set, but virgin art director Nick Ralbovsky fails to capture a single interesting shot of it. A visual nightmare, “Secretary” is at its artistic low when Holloway fantasizes about her boss while masturbating.
As she closes her eyes, she is transported to a blue-screened background of giant purple orchids and other Lisa Frank notebook-style images. She murmurs, “four peas, a spoonful of mashed potatoes, all the ice cream I want” – the amount of food Grey permitted her for dinner – until she delivers an orgasm as convincing as a Cinemax soft-core actress.
More like a romantic comedy than a sexual drama, the characters are awkward and quirky. It seems comic traps are sprung every other minute to ensure that no one is too shocked or upset by the complex dominant-submissive relationship between Grey and Holloway.
Even the scene in which Grey ejaculates onto Holloway’s exposed buttocks, which has been widely talked-about and is supposedly the film’s most provocative scene, is littered with comedic devices and comes across more like the infamous “American Pie” scene than as erotic or provoking.
The overall objective of the film seems to be to normalize the unusual sexual needs of two individuals. This, perhaps, is the single accidental quality of “Secretary.” Unlike previous films exploring sexual deviance, such as “Belle de Jour” and Adrian Lyne’s 1997 adaptation of “Lolita,” “Secretary” has a original ending.
Don’t get upset. It’s painfully obvious things will work themselves out within the first five minutes of the film.
This point is made in the most redundant, obvious and uncreative ways possible. Allusions to Jesus’ role as one who was born to suffer come up consistently both in visual implications, such as Holloway floating in a pool with her arms outstretched, and in an explicit verbalization by a priest.
“Secretary” is an overall disappointment. Those interested in a drama that spotlights sexual deviancy might benefit more from seeing “Crash,” David Cronenberg’s 1996 bomb. As for sitting through a two-hour shipwreck of a movie just to achieve pleasure through punishment, one might be better off getting a good spanking from a local dominatrix.
