What in the world of Chico Escuela is going through the mind of New York Yankees pitcher David Wells? Better yet, the question should be is there anything running through the mind of the portly pitcher.
Chico, a character of Garrett Morris during the early seasons of Saturday Night Live, was a player-turned-broadcaster bent on taking shots at his former teammates for a quick buck. The cuts ran deep in “Bad Stuff Bout Da Mets” when he accused Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver of borrowing Chico’s soap and not returning it.
Unfortunately for Major League Baseball and the Yankees, this problem with Wells cannot be solved by simply changing the channel or giving up a new bar of soap as a peace offering. They are faced with the public laughing at them instead of with them.
The wild world of the outspoken Wells is coming to bookstore shelves, carrying the title “Perfect I’m Not! Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches and Baseball.”
Throughout the work, which is set to be released later this month, Wells originally wrote he was half-drunk while throwing a perfect game in 1999. Monday, the pitcher said he changed the manuscript to say he merely had a headache. He claims the co-writer of the project, Chris Kreski, took some things out of context. Perhaps the pitcher was drunk during the interviews and could not remember what he said at the time.
Wells wrote steroid use is rampant and on the rise in baseball. In the original manuscript, he estimated 25 to 40 percent of the players in the game are using the banned drug. A corrected figure of 10 to 25 percent will be in the final copy.
Just yesterday, the pitcher acknowledged he wished the subject had been left out the book entirely. To me, it appears Wells inflated some of these tales to the size of his ego.
The portion of the book on steroids is the only upside in all of this for the game. Baseball needs to implement testing and do it now. League officials were shut out on attempts to start checking players for the banned substances last summer, and it will be a while until they get another chance.
On the other side, perhaps the game is afraid many of the home runs, which have brought fans back to the stadiums over the last five seasons, were the result of drugs.
Also in the book, Wells accused fellow Yankee pitcher Roger Clemens at throwing at the heads of New York shortstop Derek Jeter and former Yank Scott Brosius. The verbal assault on the Rocket continued when Wells said a majority of the team cannot stand Clemens. Wells is even grateful enough to provide Mets’ catcher Mike Piazza with a little advice in case he has another run-in with Clemens, like in the 2000 World Series. Basically, Wells told the catcher how to kindly return the broken bat which Clemens threw at him by sticking it somewhere where the sun don’t shine.
Yankees’ general manager Brian Cashman said the book “tarnishes the Yankees’ image,” and thankfully, the team is looking to shop the loudmouth hurler instead of dealing with two types of heat — from his fastball and his mouth — during the upcoming season. Wells has a no-trade clause, but the Yankees could make him waive it and ship him out to Montreal, Tampa Bay or Florida.
Wells held a closed-door meeting Monday with the team to address the subjects. He spoke to his peers for five to seven minutes, and he says he feels much better about the situation.
Who cares how Wells feels what about the team? While nothing has officially been said, Clemens and Wells are reportedly not on speaking terms.
Honestly, this latest offering is very similar to the upcoming work by former slugger Jose Canseco, who will also heavily address steroid usage. It seems the real reason for both of these books is to grab the spotlight and make a quick buck.
Both should have remembered the famous words of Chico before they decided to open their mouths against the game which has given them so much.
“Beisbol been berry, berry good to me.”
Nick Houser is a senior in journalism. He can be reached at [email protected]. Both Canseco and Wells need to respect the game and not the player.
