After letting Dirk take over last week, I’m back and ready to share my ideas. I asked readers what’s the best way to rebound from a breakup, but the lack of response has encouraged me to share my experience.
Breaking up can be hard. Or easy. But splitting up and returning the things is always the most difficult. Women try their best never to give things back; things are the consolation prize: “You broke my heart, so now I get to keep your video game collection. I’ll pawn it and buy myself just what I need to completely forget you were ever born.”
And the thing women buy?
Lingerie. Really expensive lingerie.
The underwear women wear defines their personality: hi-cut means granny; sheer thong means easy; boy shorts means playful. So, it’s only natural women spend extra time trying to pick out the right pair – versus men who buy whatever’s on sale.
Every woman has one secret weapon pair she only pulls out when she means business. I dove into my underwear drawer and there, tucked under the regular, every day pairs, I found my secret weapon: a pair of lacy, black stringed bikini underwear and the matching bra. At one point, this was a good investment. But that ended and my confidence was stuck, so I grabbed my best friend Ashley and we headed to Polaris.
The drive over there got me thinking – after a break up, would a man grab his best friend and go shopping for sexy new boxers? Probably not, men go to strip clubs or bars. So why do women splurge on underwear? Does it help us get over past loves or just find new ones faster?
The only logical answer is there is a difference between the underwear women have for themselves and the underwear they have for their significant others.
To men, bras are mysterious. Men can never figure out exactly how to unhook it and they’re always mesmerized by the amazing talent to remove it from under a shirt using only one hand.
Bras serve several purposes, such as everyday support and catalyzing foreplay. So it’s important to pick the right one for the job. Wearing bras for women is about comfort and making it through the day pain-free. A woman’s underwear drawer is dominated with cotton underwear, but digging deep enough, the clothes meant to be washed on the “delicate” cycle are found – sheer, barely-there bras. Sometimes women just need that boost of confidence from wearing one. And nothing says confident like a lacy black bra peeking out from under a white tank top.
Wearing bras to impress a man is completely different, it’s all about curves. To get some attention, women go through with wearing agonizingly painful push-up bras or sheer bras with almost no support.
So women are putting themselves in bankruptcy and back pain for men who most likely spend five minutes picking clothes up off the floor and doing a smell check for cleanliness.
Why is it that men don’t put the same amount of thought and consideration into the underwear they wear? Have women let men stop caring?
Unfortunately, I think the answer is yes.
The Naked Truth according to Penelope is written collectively by The Lantern editors. We want to hear from you.
Next week’s question: Do you think sexuality is something you’re born with? E-mail answers to us at [email protected].
