As I write this, the California Supreme Court is once again hearing both sides of the contentious and controversial issue of same-sex marriage. Regardless of which way the court rules in California, this issue is not going away, and should not, as marriage equality is the civil rights issue of our time. Better than most issues, civil marriage equality contains the definitions and determinants of who we are as Americans.
So who are we? We Americans are not the hyperbolic tea-party set; those foaming-at-the-mouth down shouters screaming about whatever right-wing, anti-government diatribe will fit on a bumper sticker. Nor are we the radical left, just short of Marxists, who would prefer a proliferation of communes (with hot tubs), a Prius in every driveway and a Whole Foods on every block. We’re by-and-large a center-right country: a nation of hard-working, law-abiding, tax-paying citizens who tend to sniff out obvious unfairness.
Which is why, once the dust settles, civil marriage equality will be a normal, fair, conservative feature of society.
Why conservative? It would seem that allowing gays and lesbians to marry each other would be a radical, socially polarizing, “Big-L” liberal, slippery-slope issue right up there with Medicare, or national hug-a-tree day. But lets dissect this carefully.
What do conservatives claim? Their values rest on personal responsibility, self-sufficiency, social order, stability, the rule of law, fiscal responsibility and an adherence to cherished traditions. Few would argue that marriage is the most conservative institution ever, a status that enshrines all the above stated values and more. Marriage demands responsibility, stability, order and a level of fidelity to another, both sexual and otherwise. Marriage brands us as adults and is indeed the cornerstone of community.
So here we have a group of people, our LGBT brethren, who are desperate to commit to another, to proclaim their fidelity, to establish a stable, solid, safe environment with another person. They want to create a home together, work, pay taxes, be good consumers, create a safe and nurturing place for their kids, educate them and teach them to be solid citizens. They want to help make stronger, more vibrant communities. They want to do all the things the rest of us take for granted every day. In short, they want to marry.
Instead of denying them this right, it is in society’s interest to encourage them in this endeavor. Indeed, for those who wish to partake of society’s available rights, protections and privileges as a couple (and there are many of them — over 1,100 at last count) we ought to insist on marriage as the mechanism. Should LGBT people, or anyone else, be required to marry to obtain equality? Of course not. But equal access to marriage must be an option for those who desire it.
Viewed objectively, without all the hype and stridency from either right or left, civil marriage equality is a very conservative issue. It will happen, is happening, wherever reasonable people are able to see the issue for what it is, and to welcome it is a new way to demonstrate the depth and durability of the conservative values we all share as Americans.
