It’s that time of year again.
The time when I find myself overwhelmed with anxiety on a daily basis, when I am unable to concentrate on anything and when my life becomes ultimately consumed by one thing: the T.V. show “Lost.”
With less than a month until the season premiere on Feb. 2, the dramatic previews have started playing and every time one comes on, I can’t help but hold my breath and feel my heart beating faster. I also make everyone around me stop talking, even if in the middle of a conversation. Sometimes tears well in my eyes, especially when sad music is playing, like the Fray song from season five’s previews.
“Lost” is more than just show. It is a terrible, yet unavoidable, obsession.
I made the decision two years ago to start watching the show, even though I was four seasons behind. My roommate had the first three seasons on DVD and because of utter boredom, I thought I should try to watch since I’d heard so much about it. I made the decision casually, which was a mistake. After the first episode, there was no turning back and my life would never be the same.
In three months, I watched four full seasons, the equivalent of about 85 episodes. I watched up to four episodes in one night sometimes, staying up late but physically unable to stop watching.
Every single episode of “Lost” ends in a cliffhanger and it would be impossible to sleep without knowing what happened next. Sometimes I even had dreams about “Lost” and would wake up sweating, relieved to see I was not actually on the island and that John Locke and I had never really had a conversation about a mysterious hatch.
Nothing made sense. There were polar bears on a tropical island, scary people called “The Others” who could walk silently through the forest and liked to kidnap children, a horrible man who claimed his hot air balloon crashed on the island, and more creepy things. To add to the confusion, there are flashbacks and in the later episodes, just to make everyone more crazy and confused, flash forwards.
My life revolved around watching “Lost,” thinking about “Lost” and talking about “Lost.” Another of my roommates was a few episodes ahead of me and we would come out of our rooms briefly to discuss and then go back and watch more. I spent hours on the phone with my best friend, who was in another city, talking not about what was new in our lives, but about “Lost.”
After finishing up the seasons, I was left with an insatiable need for more “Lost,” but there was none to be found until the next winter. I was counting down for the new season probably three months before it actually aired, which may sound embarrassing, but it is just how life goes when you are a watcher of “Lost.”
I would have long conversations with people, sometimes complete strangers, at parties or bars about “Lost.” With “Lost,” there are millions of theories about what is going on and it is miserable not knowing which one is the right one. Since no one will ever know the truth, all one can do is constantly talk about it.
Each episode of “Lost” is very traumatic. Terrible, unexpected things happen or things that don’t make sense happen, usually at the same time. They are all emotional roller coasters and by the time the hour has ended, viewers are left feeling emotionally exhausted. My best friend and I tend to yell and cry out in shock and sometimes pain. It scares most people in the room, who we also require to be completely silent once the show has begun. Conversations are only allowed during commercials. I hate anyone who calls during the show, as they should know what day and what time it is.
In addition to its emotional duress, “Lost” also takes up a vast amount of time that could be dedicated to other much more efficient and important things, like homework, keeping relationships up and answering telephone calls so people know you’re still alive. Even though each episode is usually only an hour, one must reserve about a half hour to discuss what happened and then about one to two hours to look at Lostpedia to get even more confused and upset about what just happened.
Lostpedia has everything anyone would ever want to know about Lost and includes all theories and speculations about what is going on in the show, including recurring themes, religious undertones and biblical references, and character “secrets.” The day I found it was the best and worst day of my life.
My friend and I have wasted many hours on the Web site, finding out more than we’d ever want to know but not getting any answers.
“Lost” never gives answers and that is what is so infuriating and addicting about the show. It is also so complicated that at the beginning of every season, they must show a two hour recap of what has happened so far and even then, no one knows what is going on.
The upcoming season of the show is the last and while the writers may finally give us some answers, I doubt it. Nothing that they can say will make anyone happy and I can bet that the last episode will end the way they all do: with a cliffhanger.
A life without “Lost” will be a sad one, and frankly, I don’t know what I’ll do with all my free time. In addition, I may go through intense withdrawal without weekly glimpses of Sawyer with no shirt on.
I will also never recover if I don’t get any answers and even more so if the show ends with “it was all a dream.” While I am still mad at creator J.J. Abrams for introducing time travel, I will someday get over that. However, if I’ve spent six seasons theorizing, dissecting and analyzing this show and it is explained that everyone is just dreaming, I will simply never forgive him.
