Opinion: Two-part 'Hunger Games' beats dead horse; Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher do something normal

Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth, Josh Hutcherson, Donald Sutherland, Julianne Moore and Sam Claflin pose at the ‘Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay’ photocall on May 17 in Cannes, France. Credit: Courtesy of MCT

Two versions of Apple's new iPhone 6 are shown during a product presentation. Apple showcased the new iPhone 6, which features a larger display than its predecessors, and the new Apple Watch. Credit: Courtesy of MCT

Actor Neil Patrick Harris and husband David Burtka arrive at the Elton John AIDS Foundation Presents 22nd Academy Awards Viewing Party on March 2 in Hollywood. Credit: Courtesy of MCT

Actors Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis hold hands while walking Sept. 19, 2013 in SoHo in New York. Credit: Courtesy of MCT

Actress Kristen Wiig (right) attends the 'Late Show With David Letterman' taping Sept. 3 at the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York. Scott Speedman (left) attends the photocall for the film ‘Captives’ on May 16 in Cannes, France. Credits: Courtesy of MCT

Another part I

This week brought the latest Hunger Games trailer. “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay — Part 1” was revealed and was “catching fire” across the Internet this past Monday. Did I really just attempt an awkward reference to the second Hunger Games movie? Yes, yes I did.

But what I was more concerned about is the fact that the worst book of the trilogy somehow merits two parts (at least I’m hoping it’s only two). As much as I love “The Hunger Games” and swoon like the rest of the female population whenever I see Miley Cyrus’ ex and Aussie heartthrob Liam Hemsworth, or my longtime childhood crush and future husband Josh Hutcherson, I still question the whole fad that is two-part movie trilogy endings.

“Harry Potter,” with its intense seven-book decade-spanning series, quite honestly deserved a grand two-part finale, but series such as the Hunger Games and Twilight? Not so much.

This trailer was filled with as much action and intensity that a less-than-two-minute clip can muster. Katniss seems to still know how to handle a bow and arrow, so that’s good news. Although she is apparently supposed to be the mockingjay, she “never wanted any of this” as we learn within the first 30 seconds. The drama continues as triumphant fight music and shooting sequences lead to the question of who will save the day and rescue Peeta. Spoiler: It’s probably Katniss.

Apple frenzy

iOS 8 has finally arrived. Apple calls it the “biggest release since the launch of the App Store” with features including new message and photo features. As a resident Apple fangirl, I have to say I’m kind of geeking out.

As my iPhone 5 promises that iOS 8 will be downloaded within the next five minutes, I type this commentary in gleeful anticipation.

My phone might no longer be in pristine condition (a large crack graces the screen diagonally, leading to a few smaller missing pieces in the bottom left corner) but I can still feel special with a new internal system. It’s not about the cover right? You’re just supposed to judge by what’s on the inside, or something like that, I think.

Only Apple could make me so excited about downloading software. Is that sad? Pathetic? No. Rather, I feel empowered. So, thank you, Apple. And thank you, iOS 8, for that morale boost. I needed that.

P.S. It’s been five minutes, Apple, and iOS 8 is not finished downloading. Stay tuned.

Strange and unusual punishments

So there is such a thing as taking it too far. Earlier in September, a Michigan father (need I go on?) punished his 4-year-old son Tristan for repeatedly hitting female classmates at school by making him hold an embarrassing sign in public. This sign (complete with a quite aggressive frowny face) read “I Hit Little Girls.” Local news stations picked up Tristan’s story and responded by calling the punishment controversial, while others agreed with the father’s actions. Tristan’s mother, for one, was not one of those supporting the dad’s “tough love” approach.

“I feel degraded for him, I feel sad for him,” Tristan’s mother Brittany Tweed told Detroit’s WXYZ-ABC7.

Tweed and Tristan’s father, Rob Devine, are separated and Tweed sought legal punishment for her ex-husband. Maybe she’ll have him hold up a sign, too.

E! Online update

In case you missed your weekly E! Online update … for your sake, I hope so.

For all lovers of spaghetti and “Lady and the Tramp,” Neil Patrick Harris and new hubby David Burtka recreated the iconic spaghetti scene as part of Harris’ upcoming autobiography “Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography.” I’m still waiting for someone to recreate the entire Cinderella movie with me … seriously, anyone?

There is also actually a headline for a story marked as news (I mean … this is E! Online but really?) reading “Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher Hold Hands While Grabbing Breakfast: See the Cute PDA Pic!” If this appeals to anyone reading this right now … please, just stop. That is all.

In other updates, for all the other Kristen Wiig enthusiasts out there, she is not dating Scott Speedman. Personally, I think this was the right move. The world of eligible suitors now knows Kristen Wiig is single and on the market. Interested bachelors should have the following characteristics: hilarious, beautiful and up to Wiig standard. What does this mean? If you don’t know you, are obviously not there yet. Please send all head shots and resumés to [email protected] for screening purposes. Thank you.