Breakfast is so much more than just breakfast.
Breakfast can be lunch. Breakfast can — and should — be dinner. Breakfast can be a snack between classes. Breakfast is there for you in times of celebration and in times of sorrow. Breakfast is a tool, a reward and a means of communication. Breakfast is a metaphor for opportunity.
There is no better example of the true malleability of the so-called “first meal of the day” than the breakfast sandwich. Its seemingly endless array of possible ingredients gives the sense of a food with no limit, a delicious concoction that knows no boundaries.
I should know. I’ve tried nearly every breakfast sandwich Ohio State offers on its massive campus grounds.
In our lifetime, we will surely never be able to unlock the full potential of the breakfast sandwich, but the campus eateries of Ohio State certainly provide a good sampling.
From the modern halls of the Ohio Union to the historic structures of South Campus to the 23-floor mistake that is Morrill Tower, the number of breakfast sandwiches at this university seems to increase by the day. Let me be your guide as we search for the best breakfast sandwich at Ohio State.
Sloopy’s Diner
Sloopy’s was once the premier hub to grab a bite on campus. Its combination of location , menu depth — you can order pancakes and french fries for dinner and top it off with a brownie sundae for dessert — and the unique diner aesthetic was truly unmatched in its prime as a restaurant.
Unfortunately, that heyday has been on pause for an extended period of time thanks in large part to COVID-19. Sloopy’s has been transformed from a late-night staple to a takeout-only spot hindered by hour-long Grubhub lines and an understaffed, underpaid kitchen.
With the loss of environment came a loss in quality of food, starting — obviously — with its signature, oversized breakfast sandwich served on either Texas toast or an English muffin. Once considered one of the best deals on campus, this sandwich has morphed into a shell of its former self, often served lukewarm and hastily constructed.
I can’t blame Sloopy’s for this disappointing collapse — it’s hard being on top for so long, and constantly serving masses of impatient college students undoubtedly takes a toll on quality. You’ll be back, Sloopy’s. I know you will.
Rating: 5/10
Connecting Grounds
It’s hard to top Connecting Grounds’ deadly one-two combo of breakfast sandwiches, a pair akin to LeBron James and Stephen Curry of NBA stardom.
First comes the LeBron: the buttery, straightforward delectability of sausage, egg and cheese on a flaky croissant. You know what you’re getting with this one, and you know it’s going to be memorable for years to come.
After you scarf down the always-delicious croissant, you remember something: There’s another sandwich on the menu. One that confuses, yet intrigues, your inexperienced palate. One that brings something new and different to the table. Chicken sausage and gouda cheese on a brioche bun? This can’t possibly succeed.
You take your first bite and immediately realize ordering from Connecting Grounds will never be the same.
Rating: 9/10
Crane Cafe
Bagels are delicious. I’m a big-time bagel defender. But, for some reason, a bagel-based breakfast sandwich has a very low ceiling — a high floor, to be sure, but a disappointingly low ceiling.
That’s the case with Crane Cafe. It’s a solid sandwich — with plenty of bagel options — that will never leave you unsatisfied, but its hearty combination of turkey sausage and white cheddar lacks the otherworldly punch of a few of its counterparts on campus.
Rating: 7/10
Oxley’s by the Numbers
The undisputed king of breakfast sandwiches on campus — nay, all sandwiches on campus — is Oxley’s by the Numbers.
The customizability is overwhelming at first, with over a dozen bun choices, excellent protein options and the best combination of cheeses — cheddar, Monterey Jack or pepper jack — on campus. My taste buds are tingling just thinking about it.
Oxley’s is the closest thing to gourmet food Ohio State has to offer. In my humble opinion, a good Oxley’s breakfast sandwich may just be the best breakfast sandwich offered in the state of Ohio.
You can order your breakfast sandwich on a pretzel bun. Need I say more?
Please, extend your hours, Oxley’s. I’m begging you.
Rating: 10/10 (I’d go higher if my scale allowed it)
12th Avenue Bread Company
For literally having “Bread Company” in the name, 12th Avenue Bread Company’s signature breakfast sandwich comes off on the unremarkable side of things. The option of subbing in a croissant is tantalizing, but again, it doesn’t bring the “it” factor I was seeking.
If you’re looking for the best deal on campus, though, I must direct you to the pizza bagels served at 12th Avenue Bread Company, which kept me alive freshman year.
Rating: 6.5/10
Marketplace on Neil
If I could compare any breakfast sandwich on campus to the ones I make at home, this would be it. That’s not a compliment, but not necessarily an insult, either.
Rating: 5/10
KSA Cafe
Tucked away inside the temple that is the Knowlton School of Architecture, KSA Cafe might not be on your breakfast sandwich radar just yet. Truth be told, it wasn’t on mine until late last semester.
But if you’re in the area, give it a try. The breakfast sandwich itself was about as generic as they come — on a relatively dry bagel with its indiscernible cheese and some form of sausage providing much-needed flavor — but the cafe’s location inside one of the most unique buildings on campus makes it worth a visit.
Rating: 5/10
Traditions at Morrill
If you have any experience with Morrill Tower, you know what to expect here.
Don’t waste your time making the trek for this miniature, flavorless, weak excuse for a sandwich unless you literally live in the building — in which case, I’m so sorry.
Rating: 2/10
