From left, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall attend the “Sex and the City” seminar at the Museum of Television and Radio in New York City on Oct. 1, 2003. Courtesy of TNS
Rear View Mirror is a monthly TV show column that examines the cultural influence and societal reflection of the “New Golden Age of Television,” prioritizing shows from the late 1990s to the mid-2010s.
Disclaimer: There may be slight spoilers ahead
HBO’s seminal “Sex and the City” is one of the most influential and iconic television shows in recent history.
“Sex and the City” follows the life of 30-something Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), who writes a weekly sex column for the fictional New York Star newspaper titled ‘Sex and the City.’
Bradshaw records the careers and love lives of her three closest friends — lawyer Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), art dealer Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) and public relations executive Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) — while also detailing her own love life, which is often entangled in the mixed signals of her main romantic interest, Mr. Big (Chris Noth).
Airing from 1998 to 2004, “Sex and the City” put the glitter and pizazz into the “New Golden Age of Television.” In the pilot episode alone, the jazzy atmosphere of New York City and the quick, natural dialogue between characters are enough to convince viewers to stay for the next six seasons.
The appeal of “Sex and the City” is not just smoke and mirrors; its unapologetic and vivid portrayals of sexual encounters, chiefly from women’s points-of-view, were groundbreaking when the show first aired. Specifically, the series depicts the four main women’s determined mission to start having sex [like men] and leave emotional ties behind.
“This is the first time in the history of Manhattan that women have had as much money and power as men,” Samantha, the oldest and boldest of the four women, said in the pilot. “Plus, the equal luxury of treating men like sex objects.”
Samantha Jones: The woman who cannot stand a cliché
A common conversation among fans of the show is what character they feel their personalities match best. People are often quick to attach themselves to Carrie, Charlotte or Miranda. It is rare, however, to hear one align themself with Samantha.
Samantha is the most unrealistic character in “Sex in the City,” but she is also the most aspirational. She is a self-made woman who is wealthy, intelligent, remotely fearless, stunningly beautiful and has sex with any man she could want.
She is extremely avoidant of relationships, vowing to exclusively have no-strings-attached sex. The only relationships Samantha is willing to maintain are the ones between her and Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte, where she constantly serves as the least judgmental and wisest friend.
That’s not to say Samantha doesn’t have her flaws.
Samantha’s reluctance to engage in real relationships with men has caused her to turn away from true love, which can negatively impact her life at times. But, it is clear that Samantha has high standards for herself and who she spends her time with.
One of Samantha’s only lasting love interests in the series is hotel magnate Richard Wright (James Remar). Richard and Samantha share many similar qualities, with the biggest being that they are both alphas and apex predators.
Surprisingly, Samantha falls in love with Richard, finding herself in a position she’s never been in before — the one of a desperate and longing woman who seeks a man’s love and approval.
The couple decides to become exclusive — a rare step for both parties. This arrangement does not last for long, as Samantha catches Richard cheating on her with another woman.
Even so, they stay together, though Samantha becomes increasingly insecure and jealous — traits that contrast with her usual personality.
Samantha’s realization that she has strayed from her core principles leads her to ultimately break up with Richard.
“I love you too, Richard,” she says. “But I love me more.”
Richard and Samantha’s relationship has similarities to Carrie and Big’s. However, Samantha knew to break off the relationship when she realized the benefits did not outweigh the risks.
It is rare to meet someone like Samantha in real life. Her quick wit and no-nonsense attitude shine amongst the show’s characters, and she can be defined as a true feminist and trailblazer among the four main women.
Samantha will always stand up for herself and her friends, and she will not settle for a fantasy world of perfect men that does not exist.
Charlotte York: Not Samantha’s antithesis
Charlotte York — the waspy Park Avenue princess from a wealthy background — is often characterized by her friends as uptight and rigid. Unlike Samantha, Charlotte is constantly seeking Mr. Right and hoping for the perfect, life-long marriage.
Throughout the series, Samantha and Charlotte have spats over their differing views on relationships. However, one episode served as a breaking point for both characters.
In season three, episode 16, titled “Frenemies,” Charlotte becomes frustrated with Samantha’s casual description of a sexual experience she has with a man and her lack of knowledge about his background.
“Sex is something special that is supposed to happen between two people who love each other,” Charlotte argues.
“Or two people who love sex,” Samantha fires back.
Charlotte then stops short of calling Samantha an unsavory term, causing a rift between the two friends.
The beauty of this episode comes when both Charlotte and Samantha walk in each other’s shoes. Samantha becomes friends with a feisty Southern woman, who later decides to perform a sexual act on a man in public while at the same dinner table as Samantha — an experience that makes her incredibly uncomfortable.
Charlotte, on the other hand, meets up with her former sorority sisters, as she tries to seek advice about her husband’s lackluster sexual performance. She is met with judgment by her friends, with one of them saying, “What’s wrong with you Charlotte? You’re such a-”
Charlotte cuts her off, responding with “What? What am I, Sydney?”
In that moment, Charlotte is viewed by her sorority sisters the same way that Charlotte views Samantha.
Subsequently, the two make up and continue their friendship. What’s more, the two women share a powerful realization: They are not so different, after all.
Charlotte and Samantha: Two sides of the same coin
Charlotte and Samantha stand out from Carrie and Miranda because they are both steadfast in their ways. They uphold high personal standards — albeit, much different standards — that guide how they approach relationships.
Samantha and Charlotte are the show’s real feminists, depending on which wave of feminism one analyzes the women through. They constantly remind people of their worth, and they know exactly what they want. The two women make decisions on their own terms. Men cannot influence their true wants and needs.
Though Charlotte and Samantha use femininity to their advantage in different ways, the two women get what they want in the end. Their happy conclusions are contrasting, but the way they achieve them does not have much variation.
