Tell me reader, have you ever examined Mama’s Skinny Enchilada up close? I have. While it’s certainly no pretty sight, its tangy cilantro taste was hard to resist. If you’re in the mood for Mex and mayhem then read on and see if Don Pablo’s comida is right for you. I brought an ex Don Pablo’s employee, John, to give us the inside scoop.
You might ask yourself, “Where does the name Don Pablo’s come from?” According to legend, he was either a famous war hero or an inspirational poet. No one really knows. The legend of Don Pablo may always remain a mystery. Regardless, one can rest assured that his memory is being tarnished with over-commercialization and gaudy advertising.
Before we go any further, I’m going to take a moment to rant about my flamboyant waiter. This man, in the span of 60 seconds, gave me a wink, a big thumbs up and the “shooting-gun” hand motion. I made the mistake of ordering.
He repeated “The Conquistador” in a loud overdone accent more than once in the evening. Look, I wasn’t hiring him to pop out of a cake. All I wanted was someone to take my order and refill my Coke.
Rant aside; the interior of Don Pablo’s was clean and orderly, decidedly un-Tex-Mex. I’m pretty sure the “real enchilada” would include some dust and some children attempting to sell watches. To their credit, Don Pablo’s models their restaurant interior after real crumbling Mexican infrastructure. Other attempts at dining ambiance include gentle lighting, neon signs and Spanish pop music.
At this point we were brought a few baskets of nachos with watery salsa. Todd ordered grilled Caesar salad and had this to say, “Pecans in a Caesar salad? I don’t know if this kind of shenanigan flies in Mexico, but here in the First World we keep nuts out of the salad. The salad could’ve used some more steak, but other than that, it was fine.” While tea-bagging a salad is always dirty pool, Todd might have done well to read the menu, particularly the “honey-roasted pecans” part.
Frank tried the steak fajitas and let loose a rant all his own, “When you come to a restaurant, you expect to eat. The problem is these fajitas don’t do the trick. I could find more meat on a starving child. As for the rice, they pulled a Commons here mixing some cooked rice with its undercooked cousin.” John concurred, “The rice is a scotch hard. DP is dropping the ball tonight. Oy gavult!”
Jarrod tried the chicken chimichanga and comments, “Ranchero sauce? I wanted this to be a creamy white sauce, like ranch, but it was a spicy brown sauce with peppers in it. Lucky for me, it tasted pretty good and the refried beans were especially excellent. My rice tasted a bit overdone and dry.”
John had the Three Amigos and told me, “The beef enchilada was great. The chicken was good overall but was lacking in the meat department.”
I was impressed with the Conquistador. While I’m not sure what this dish has to do with subjugating natives; the variety of tacos, taquitos, enchiladas and burritos made for a great combo platter. While I was unimpressed by the BBQ rib burrito, I would certainly recommend this dish. For instance, the chicken soft taco had a fresh taste that was both zesty and sweet. The temperature difference between the hot chicken and cool veggies was a great touch as well.
For dessert, I tried the chocolate volcano. What a rip-off. For $4.99, I expect more than a handful of cake and a scoop of ice cream. While it’s too late for me, I hope you’ll remember to steer clear of this pretentious hot-fudge sundae look-alike.
On a personal note, I’d like to shake a fist at Jay Leno for promising to run one of my headlines on Monday, and then failing to do so. If Conan had done it, I’d have forgiven him but I won’t be bumped by some big-chinned, no- talent hack.
Hank Mylander is a junior from Westerville majoring in Management Information Systems. He wants to assure his readers he’d never willfully inflict the new super-close-up photos on anyone. They weren’t his idea. Thanks for reading my bio line. The masticator can be reached at [email protected].
